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PRE ORDER: Gilbert Gottfried’s Rubber Balls & Liquor

In Blog Exposure, Online on February 11, 2011 at 3:26 am

“Gilbert is the funniest man alive. He is the comic genius of our generation. This book proves he is the Picasso of the cubist dick joke.”
PENN JILLETTE

“More than a national treasure, he’s a secret weapon. If we had had Gilbert Gottfried in World War II, Hitler would have given up in 1942.”
STEPHEN KING ON GILBERT GOTTFRIED

“This book crosses the line of good taste. I loved it.”
JEFFREY ROSS

“One of the most touching, eye-opening historical accounts. One day I may even read it.”
HOWIE MANDEL

“This is definitely the loudest book I have ever read. It changed my life. After reading it, I decided to go through transgender surgery.”
BOB SAGET

“Truly the funniest book ever, by one of the funniest guys on the planet!”
PAUL SHAFFER, MUSICAL DIRECTOR, LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN


Publishers Weekly Review:
Comedian Gottfried goes for the jugular in his first humor book. As in George Carlin’s Brain Droppings, the author loves to goof on language, and he is equally outrageous, as is evident when one deciphers the transsexual pun disguised in the book’s title and the suggestive cover image. Gottfried free-associates, riffing in print with an improvisatory flair as wild as his standup routines. Blowjob and masturbation jokes punctuate a mix of memoir, angst-ridden anecdotes, and observational humor. Turning to self-mockery (“I have a face for voice-overs”), he tells how he landed the one-word role as the voice of the animated Aflac duck, and his fans will eagerly skip ahead to a chapter titled “Too Soon” about his now famous Friars Club performance two weeks after 9/11. Gottfried’s basic tactic is to deliver a dynamite line and top it with several surprises before reaching the end of each paragraph, building to guffaw-inducing jokes on almost every page. (Apr. 26)

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Demetri Martin Announces THIS IS A BOOK, Pre Order

In Online on February 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Adam Carolla, Interior Decorator – Wall Street Journal

In Blog Exposure, National Print, Online on December 27, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Adam Carolla, Interior Decorator
The comedian picked paint colors, restored frescoes—and stuck a sports car in his office

By CANDACE JACKSON

Photographer: Ethan Pines for The Wall Street Journal
Los Angeles

Comedian Adam Carolla co-hosted “The Man Show,” a Comedy Central program known for featuring buxom women jumping on trampolines. At home, Mr. Carolla’s cartoonishly masculine persona is readily on display.

The eight-car garage, housing part of his collection of historic race-cars, Lamborghinis and Datsuns, has its own sitting room and beer refrigerator. Parked in his office, where four flat-screen TVs are arranged stadium-style, is Mr. Carolla’s prized orange 1970 Lamborghini Miura. It sits atop a hydraulic lift so it can be moved down to the garage below.

Inside Adam Carolla’s Man Cave

The large man cave in Mr. Carolla’s basement.

Then there’s what Mr. Carolla, 46, refers to as his “ace in the hole”—his large man cave in the basement. There’s a jukebox, mounted deer head and a pool table. Playing cards depicting nude women and coasters are adhered to the ceiling, and there’s a red upholstered bar facing a series of portholes that look directly into the water of his swimming pool.

Jimmy Kimmel, the former “Man Show” co-host who now leads his eponymous late-night talk show, says he likes to tease Mr. Carolla that he would install heated floors in his garage to protect his cars—but not in the bedrooms of his 4-year-old twins.

“The truth is,” jokes Mr. Kimmel, “you can’t drive your kids.”

What may surprise people, says Mr. Kimmel, are Mr. Carolla’s self-described effeminate hobbies: interior design and 1920s architecture. “I’ve got a great eye for color,” said Mr. Carolla. “I’m like a chick.” (His recently released book of cultural observations and rants is titled “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks.”)

James Bond-meets-Vegas details aside, the rest of Mr. Carolla’s 5,500-square-foot Spanish hacienda-style stucco was renovated in the style of its era. (The house has two bedrooms and five baths; several bedrooms were converted to TV rooms and offices.) There are stained-glass windows, dark wood beams on rounded, vaulted ceilings and details like hardwood floors that have been hand-painted in shades of brown and pale green and outlined in gold to give them an Art Deco feel.

The entryway is a dramatic two-story, tiled room with wrought-iron railings lining the balcony hallway above. The soft blue periwinkle-and-cream-colored décor of the home’s bedroom, like everything else about the house, was Mr. Carolla’s idea.

Shortly after getting married in 2003, Mr. Carolla and his wife bought the Hollywood Hills home for $1.6 million. Mr. Carolla said the place was a wreck with “god-awful veneer cabinets” and orange paint covering hand-carved details, but “I thought, ‘There’s some bones there.’ ”

Wife Lynette had her doubts. “It was a big dump,” she said.

Photographs by Ethan Pines for The Wall Street Journal

Detail from the entry ceiling.

Mr. Carolla, who worked as a contractor before he was a full-time comedian, spent two years painstakingly restoring the home, overseeing and pitching in with the construction, and doing the engineering and interior design himself. At some points, say his wife and friends, the project became an obsession, driving Mr. Carolla, and his wife, crazy. He spent a week dismantling and moving a 90-year-old antique fireplace from his previous house by hand, photographing and numbering the ceramic tiles after removing them with a diamond blade. It took another week to reinstall it in his current house.

To bring back details hidden beneath layers of paint, he used a heat gun on interior wood beams and plaster ceilings, revealing colored frescoes. He scoured eBay and vintage stores for period fixtures.

In the kitchen, an antique sink has been re-enameled. Mr. Carolla had the refrigerator, microwave and dishwasher coated in red automotive paint, then waxed, partly because he thought the heavy-duty finish would stand up to his family’s wear and tear, but also because the bright color made them “feel more of the era,” he said.

Known for his rants on topics like why classic cars should be considered artwork, Mr. Carolla gets heated when talking about the state of many historic homes in the Los Angeles area.

“It’s always the same thing, the homes get built in the ’20s, then they gut the kitchen at the worst possible time, which is 1977.”

Mr. Carolla’s one complaint about his own house is that his kids have somewhat taken over what he sees as his masterpiece. The fridge is covered with their artwork, a toy car sits in the garage, and he says they’ve done a number on some of the original dark wood floors.

Mr. Carolla said he doesn’t know how much he spent on the remodel, but that the cost was relatively low since he did so much himself. A nearby four-bedroom, five-bathroom house that was built in 1930 and recently remodeled is on the market for $4.6 million.

Growing up in Los Angeles, Mr. Carolla was the son of divorced parents who he says took little interest in keeping up their homes. In his recently released book, he says his bedroom as a kid was a converted service porch near a hot-water heater in his mother’s unkempt “dilapidated shack,” a source of embarrassment for him as a child.

“When I finally got enough money to buy my own tools,” said Mr. Carolla, “I overcompensated.”

Write to Candace Jackson at candace.jackson@wsj.com

Adam Carolla Says We’re All Becoming Chicks – Sunday OC Register

In Clippings, National Print, Online on December 11, 2010 at 11:51 pm

by KELLI SKYE FADROSKI

Podcaster and TV and radio personality Adam Carolla says the world has gone soft. In his new book, “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks,” Carolla does what he does best, rage on about how society has decided handle a variety of issues with kid gloves, from the simple (iPhones, ketchup packets and L.A. restaurants) to controversial (politicians, taxes, race and gay marriage).

The 46-year-old comedian will be signing his book at the Barnes & Noble at Bella Terra in Huntington Beach on Thursday. He’ll also be performing his new stand-up act at the Irvine Improv Dec. 16-19.

Carolla has done several book signings and says they’ve gone well and included “all shapes, sizes and colors of white people.” Though he says it’s nice for people to show up, he’s still wary of his popularity.

“I think it’s flattering, but it doesn’t feel great,” he says during a recent phone interview. “I wish I could feel better about the process, but I kind of remove myself from it. It’s weird because there are times when I go out on stage, like at House of Blues at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, and there’s 900 people sitting there and I think, ‘What are you people doing here?’ Really? I’m just a performer. I’ve kind of always been this way about any sort of notoriety.”

He enjoys meeting his public, he says, but views it very much as being “just part of the job.” He’s not a snob about it – he’ll pose for every picture, shake every hand and even strike up conversations, but once he’s punched out for the day, he says he just wants to be at home.

“In my mind, all I can think is that I want to be home with my kid,” he says. “I want to be home, messing around with my cars – that’s my mode. Maybe I’m trying to fool myself or something, or maybe this is just my way of maintaining sanity. Everything is a job. You do it, then you go home to your family. That doesn’t feel any different now from when I was swinging a hammer.”

As someone who could barely finish a book report in high school and failed his drivers ed class because he didn’t complete a simple essay about seat belts, Carolla – who worked as a handyman before trying his hand at comedy – says he was nervous about finding the time to write more than 85,000 words for his first book.

“I couldn’t read the prize rules on the side of a cereal box without having to bring it to the bathroom with me,” he says. “I’m so functionally illiterate and so bad at spelling, typing and reading. I don’t even read my own crap because it would entail actually reading.”

He took the book casually, chapter by chapter and with the blessing of the publisher, Carolla just let loose. Though much of his common sense anecdotes and in-depth comments are comical, he says he took it seriously.

“I could have just taken the money and handed in whatever, but I’ve got way too much ego for that,” he says. “You go on Amazon.com and we’ve got out of 155 or so reviews, like 145 of them give the book five stars and I love that. My ego couldn’t handle mailing in this thing and then seeing a bunch of two- or three-star reviews and have people saying ‘It’s not Carolla’s best.’”

Carolla started “The Adam Carolla Podcast” in February 2009 after his radio gig was canceled. The podcast has been top rated on iTunes since and Carolla has even taken it from the warehouse studio in Glendale to remote locations in front of live audiences. Some of the show’s guests have included Richard Belzer, David Cross, Aisha Tyler, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Jimmy Kimmel, Greg Fitzsimmons, Jeffrey Ross and Dana Gould.
With the holidays already in full effect, Carolla will also be bringing his “Christmas Carolla” shows, and possibly some of his famous friends, to Orange County.

“It’s not going to be like a Bob Hope Christmas special, though,” he says of the gigs. ”Ultimately it will be an hour and a half of something that slightly resembles stand-up.”

Since we’re on the subject of holidays and Carolla is the king of rants, we asked what’s bugging him the most about this time of year.

“Fake Christmas trees,” he replies quickly. “I don’t like them because they’re not real and people say that real ones are a hassle. That’s their argument. Everything is a hassle. Why don’t you just get a canned turkey and skip Christmas lights – it’s all a hassle. Hanging the stockings, making the eggnog, stringing the popcorn with a needle and thread, starting the fireplace, roasting the chestnuts, decorating the house – it’s a hassle and that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You want to know how to really avoid the hassle? Kill yourself and you’ll never be bothered again. Life is a hassle – feeding the kids, fixing things, making deadlines – at least the holiday hassles smell nice.”

Adam Carolla book signing
When: 5 p.m. Dec. 16
Where: Barnes & Noble at Bella Terra, 7881 Edinger Ave., Huntington Beach.
Call: 714-897-8781

Christmas Carolla Comedy Show
When: 8 p.m. Dec. 16; 8 & 10 p.m. Dec. 17; 7 & 9 p.m. Dec. 18 and 7 p.m. Dec. 19.
Where: Irvine Improv, 71 Fortune Drive, Irvine.
How much: $30
Call: 949-854-5455
Online: irvineimprov.com

New York Times Sunday Edition – Adam Carolla, World Class Complainer

In Clippings, Online on December 5, 2010 at 8:09 am

Adam Carolla, World-Class Complainer
By DAVID SEGAL
This article appeared both in print and online, in the NY Times Sunday Business section on November 27, 2010

IN this episode, a Haggler first. The column welcomes a guest ranter — Adam Carolla, of radio (“Loveline”), TV (“The Man Show”) and podcast fame (“The Adam Carolla Show,” an iTunes chart topper). Most recently, he was the author of “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks,” which was briefly perched ahead of Mark Twain’s autobiography on the New York Times best-seller list.

“I don’t know what band the dude is in,” Mr. Carolla said when congratulated for outranking one of the great American writers. “I’m not a big fan of the pop music.”

Mr. Carolla is a funny and eloquent griper, and for years in various platforms, he has done a segment called “What can’t Adam complain about?” You just name something and after a short pause, he dismantles it.

So the Haggler teed him up, one topic after another. Here is a lightly edited transcript:

HOTELS I hate the fact that whenever you turn on the TV in a hotel, it’s always the hotel channel and it’s like 250 decibels. It hits you with a wall of sound.

When you travel, the TV set is like your buddy from home. So they should have a universal remote control at every hotel and all the channels should be in the same place. The way it is now, you have to scroll around to find anything. Eventually, you find ESPN or whatever you’re watching, and you leave it to go eat dinner, go to a club, and then you come back that night and it’s right back to the loud hotel channel. Couldn’t it just come back on to the station it was on? Would that be insane? My TV at home does it.

MIDPRICED CHAIN RESTAURANTS The food always looks a lot better on TV. You get sucked into it. You’re like, “Man, that shrimp scampi looks delectable” when you’re on your sofa, because they do some pretty good shots of that stuff. The guys who shoot those commercials should get into the porn business.

You watch an Olive Garden ad and the food is the best-looking Italian cuisine I’ve ever laid eyes on. Whoever cooks for that commercial, that’s who I hope my chef is when I show up at the Olive Garden.

RENTAL CARS There is always one dude in front of you who takes 45 minutes at the car-rental counter. I don’t know if this guy just pulled out trading stamps or his merchant marine I.D. or what. But I am always behind him.

MOVIE THEATERS I complain that people complain about the price of a ticket. Something like “Avatar,” eight years in the making, hundreds of millions to produce, and everybody is peeved. “Oh. man. $13 for a ticket?” I think that’s a pretty good deal.

But they should do a structure like the car wash does, where they charge more for vans. For an inexpensive indie film, the ticket should be $4.

AIRPORTS I don’t like the idea that almost every airport seems to have its own standards for security. When you’re leaving Burbank, you don’t have to have your toiletries in a clear Ziploc bag. But when you’re coming out of Phoenix, they want to know why you don’t have your toiletries in a Ziploc bag.

And the next time you’re coming out of Phoenix, three weeks later, no one wants to know about the Ziploc bag. I don’t know if they’re trying to confuse the terrorists, but they sure are confusing me.

THE CEREAL AISLE IN THE SUPERMARKET The problem with cereal is the problem with so many things. If it tastes good, it’s bad for you. If it tastes awful, it’s good for you. Everything that you want, everything with a prize in it, will kill you. All that you need to know about the universe is laid out in the cereal aisle.

And, by the way, cereal manufacturers: When you’re talking about the nutritional value of your product, you can’t count the milk. That’s not yours. “When used responsibly as part of a balanced breakfast … ” No. Your stuff has to stand alone.

But my kids love it, and as a parent you get lazy. Fruit Loops is basically a delivery system for milk. It’s a syringe for milk. You think, at least he gets half a glass a milk in him and we don’t have to fire up the stove.

TAXIS They mostly look relatively decent from the outside. Someone puts a coat of wax on them, and the fenders aren’t dented in. But you get inside, and the ride feels as if the car has circled the globe 11 times. The bushings, the ball joints, the suspension, every part that is underneath that car that has worked for the last 280,000 miles — you just feel it in your spine.

There have to be new cabs out there — they have to introduce them into the system every once in a while, right? How come I never get that cab?

The cabs I get are like Dyan Cannon. From a distance, looks hot, everything is fine, in place, it’s just teeth and hair and attractive. Then you get up close and it’s different.

THE APPLE STORE It’s very sterile-looking and really bright. If you’ve got a zit, don’t go into that place. There are two places you don’t need to be going with a zit: the Apple store and the duty-free shop at the airport. Two of the best-lit places on the planet.

I love Apple stuff, but I can’t stand the fact that the prices are the same at all the stores. I love the idea in life that “Hey, man, don’t get that blazer at the gift shop at Caesars Palace. Go downtown to the clothing district and you can get that thing for a quarter of the price.” That’s a bargain.

I don’t like the notion that with Apple, you could get it in Dubai or South Central Los Angeles, if they ever open a store there, and the laptop will be exactly the same price. I don’t like that. I want to go online and find it $50 cheaper.– NY Times Sunday Business Edition

E-mail: haggler@nytimes.com.

College Humor Viral – Bathroom Etiquette

In Online on December 5, 2010 at 7:01 am

College Humor.com is the largest viral site, with over 1.3 million Youtube subscribers, and talent that have landed their own shows on MTV.

While in NYC promoting his book, Adam and I took time to visit the College Humor studios near Chelsea Pier. The staff was extremely professional, the writers were spot on, and the fully prepared two camera shoot was impressive. The result was a hysterical instructional video that was passed around offices.

A viral campaign can open up your current projects to a younger media savvy tech crowd, and L&A pairs with the best viral sites around, like Funny Or Die, and College Humor.

AOL’s Politics Daily – Adam On Taxes, Fatherhood, & Podcasting

In Online on November 30, 2010 at 10:27 pm

On today’s podcast, we are honored to welcome comedian Adam Carolla, author of “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks.”

This was a special one for me. I’ve been a fan of Carolla for years. He is one of the few people on the planet who can make me laugh out loud.

Back in the mid-to-late 90s, I discovered Adam’s humor when he co-hosted the popular call-in radio show, “Love Line.” Today, The Adam Carolla Podcast is one of the most successful on iTunes (listening to his podcast helped inspire me to start my podcast).

On today’s show, Adam and I discuss taxes, fatherhood, and podcasting.

(Note: Language may be inappropriate for young listeners).

Check out the show!

Subscribe to “The Matt Lewis Show” on iTunes!

Dennis Miller Show Praises Carolla’s ‘In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks’

In Online, Radio on November 30, 2010 at 3:44 am

HEAR THE CLIP

Regular listeners of the show know that Dennis is quite taken with “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks” by Adam Carolla.

Today, Carolla was back with more of his unique observations. Hear the interview in which Dennis probes deeper into the genesis of Carolla’s wisdom.

The Nerdist Podcast – Adam Carolla RETURNS!

In Online, Podcasts on November 29, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Number 47: Adam Carolla Returns!

Adam Carolla makes his triumphant return to the Nerdist Podcast while dominating the medium with his own show. This time, Adam takes issue with rude male receptionists, radio program directors and “The Love Boat,” while promoting his new book In 50 Years We’ll All Be Chicks, available here. This episode was brought to you by Hiney Wine and Hickory Lube.

Yahoo Sports – Viral Book Tie In

In Online on November 20, 2010 at 5:44 pm

Radio personality and NY Times Bestselling author, Adam Carolla, talks about the asteroid named after him and his disdain of cork. The Yahoo Sports Minute is seen by over 1.3 million sports fans a day.

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